• My 2018 Goals

    Happy New Years!  Four days into the New Year and it’s already crazy busy.  We moved Killion to Chico and Dylan is spending 16 days in New York City.  Jon is back to his weekly travel schedule and I’m trying to plan out my blog posts, client game plans and figuring out the best way to manage my time.  I developed a system two weeks ago and so far so good.  I’ll share that in another post.

    Last week I put together my goals for 2018 and shared them in my weekly newsletter.  If you’d like to subscribe, follow this link and you’ll receive a weekly email every Friday afternoon.

    I have five goals I’d like to tackle this year. I chose them because I know if I accomplish them I’ll be a better person for it. Each create their own little challenge; facing a fear, examining my decisions and finding solutions I may not initially enjoy.  I also made sure they pair well with my Value System, adding to my life and not taking away.

    Here they are:

    Go Solo More

    I have a personal bucket list to explore small towns of Northern California. Most are day trips and all are doable except one tiny, little thing. It scares me to do things by myself. I like having alone time at home but the idea of venturing out solo makes me very uncomfortable. I imagine myself getting lost, wandering the street aimlessly, a loner without a friend, haha. There’s more truth in that sentence than I’d like to admit!  So, I’m resolved to make this a priority for 2018, to hit the road and just move forward.

    Explore More

    This goes hand in hand with Go Solo More but there’s more to exploring that venturing out.  I want to explore meditation, self care, contribution and meaningful relationships.  It’s a lot but there’s something that feels meaningful about this goal.

    Find My Giggle

    When my dad passed away, almost three years ago, I lost my lightness. Jon would describe it as, I laid down on the couch and never got up. A daze, a fog, or whatever your term for it is, I’m trying to get out of it. I’ve definitely made strides and what I noticed most is I’ve lost my giggle. I realized it when I watched an animal video and I got to giggling so much my stomach hurt, like cramping up type of laughing. I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed like that since he passed. I have no idea how to work on this goal but I’m sure there’s a solution out there.

    Get More Sleep

    I know I don’t function well if I don’t get a solid night’s sleep. I toss and turn a lot and it’s rare that I just sleep soundly through the night. I’ve been dabbling with meditation before bed and my goal is to make it a priority before bed.  It seems to help with relaxing my mind prior to bed, which is really important because at the end of the day I’m already thinking of tomorrow and the next day :-/

    Be More Brave

    Speak up, guard my value system, learn to say no.  These may not typically be categorized as being brave, but for me speaking up and saying no don’t come naturally.  I get passionate about things, sure.  But I don’t always say what I’m really thinking or feeling and I often hold it in until it’s just a little too late.  Being Brave to me means not compromising myself for someone else’s feelings, opinions or comfort.

    Do you have goals for the New Year?  I’d love to know what they are!

    Cover photo: Photo by Vincent Guth onUnsplash

  • Creating A Value System

    Some people, when they become adults realize they are a bit lost.  Due to an infinite number of combinations of how they were raised, experiences during childhood, and relationships with others a foundation was built that as an adult becomes unstable.  It was likely always unstable, but when we are adults we, most of us at least, become reliant on what we know.  And what we know isn’t always good for us.

    This was me in so many ways. I didn’t have my own value system in place and it affected all of my relationships, made me unnecessarily sensitive to criticism, and kept me from finding peace within myself.  Not having a solid foundation ultimately caused bad financial choices, poor parenting decisions and my relationships suffered, including my marriage.  The way I reacted when something happened (or didn’t happen the way I wanted it to) was impulsive and often chaotic.

    Even though this was my behavior, deep down I knew I didn’t like acting this way and I also recognized I wasn’t taking responsibility for my behavior.  The later is what kept me in this ugly cycle so owning my actions and issues was a priority.  Five years ago my life completely changed when I made a conscious decision to BE the person I wanted to be.

    Two things helped me find my way; My therapist and The Minimalistswho talk openly about their own integrity, character and values.  Therapy helped me deal with me; my hang ups, how I viewed myself, and how to define my own value (to myself and others).  The Minimalists have a game plan that I emulated to create my own value system.

    Despite the infinite number of ways my foundation was created as a child, I have the power to rewrite how I operate which will greatly improve how I live my life.  I work on this daily and daily I get my ass kicked by old habits and bad self-talk…but going over my values (below) help me move forward in the exact way I know will bring balance in my life.

    So, here is my value statement

    Fundamental values

    Fundamental Values are the most important ways I live my life.  These are what everything else is built from.  Think of them as buckets you fill up that create balance.  Note: yours may be totally different, I happen to find these (from The Minimalist) to align with my way of thinking, however the description of each is my own.

    1. Relationships | Making JZN a priority, cultivating positive friendships and family relationships with 1:1 time.
    2. Creativity | Expressing myself via my work, looking objectively at tasks to ensure 80/20 they allow creativity.
    3. Growth | Learning different perspectives, ensuring my work (social media) doesn’t equate to an imaginary self value, and continue to elevate self awareness.
    4. Contribution | Ensuring my monies, work and words are contributing to a greater good than myself and my own personal/material wants.
    5. Health | Making it a priority by scheduling time for exercise, self care, meditation

    Core values

    Core values are specific things that fill up the fundamental values buckets.  Without core values I don’t have actionable ways to live my life the way I want to.  I choose ten core values that I know will bring me incredible satisfaction when accomplished.

    1. Promotion of others
    2. Meditation
    3. Time with my kids
    4. Financial freedom (zero debt & retirement)
    5. Emotional relationship with JZN
    6. Contractual obligations
    7. Scheduling my time and sticking to it 90% of the time
    8. Self Care
    9. Sleep
    10. Therapy

    Minor values

    Minor values are experiences/things I find joy in but if they didn’t happen or weren’t in my life I’m not out of sorts.  They seem a bit silly written down but I really enjoy my morning coffee in a room only lit by candles.

    My morning cup of coffee
    Waking up slowly | Lighting candles in the morning / no lights
    My home

    Imaginary values

    Imaginary values are perceived as valuable but in reality are in direct conflict with my fundamental values.  For instance, I do want a big fat three diamond anniversary ring.  If I received one for Christmas I would be giddy…but that purchase is in conflict with how I want to spend money (read Growth under Fundamental Values).

    Diamond ring
    Fast cars
    Personal social media (non business related work)…you know the rabbit hole :-/

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and thank you for supporting me and this blog <3

    Photo by Austin Johnson on Unsplash